Someone sent this to me obviously presented as a joke. I think it's a true story:
> > Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their > days interesting. Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into > town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When > we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumbass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. > > So Mary called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on > the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. > > Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a > little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age. >
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Getting Divorced Always Makes Me Sad
Not that I did it often, only twice, but with my first husband I would have divorced him four or five times more if I could've. I don't like to call them exes because to me that implies they've been cancelled as people. If they've been cancelled then that means I've been cancelled too. I don't want to be cancelled. I have too many things I still want to do. So they're either first husband, second husband, or former husband #1, former husband #2, etc.
I don't know about you but I felt relief when I divorced, both times. With first husband there was much hostility on both sides. He moves out. Relief. With second husband I'm sitting on the front porch, numb, as he's loading his things in his car. Eventually feelings seep into my body and I start quietly sobbing. He sits down next to me, puts an arm around my shoulders and tries to comfort me. All the while I'm thinking to myself "he's really almost gone. He's really almost gone." And what am I feeling? Relief!
Sure, divorce leaves you with lots of conflicting emotions. When I woke the next day after husband #1 left, I remember thinking, "I don't believe God really intended for me to live without a wonderful husband, a helpmeet, good companion, terrific daddy. God didn't really expect me to mow the lawn, maintain the car and the house, earn a living (with no education), and raise two very young little ones who were total victims in this ugly situation. All by myself?" Took me most of 30 years to realize that God didn't intend for me to live alone. I'm thinking maybe I took a wrong turn or two somewhere, like maybe choosing the wrong man (men). Like maybe looking for love in all the wrong places as the song goes. I didn't invite God along for the ride and look where it got me. Could be worse. I could still be married to one of them.
I don't know about you but I felt relief when I divorced, both times. With first husband there was much hostility on both sides. He moves out. Relief. With second husband I'm sitting on the front porch, numb, as he's loading his things in his car. Eventually feelings seep into my body and I start quietly sobbing. He sits down next to me, puts an arm around my shoulders and tries to comfort me. All the while I'm thinking to myself "he's really almost gone. He's really almost gone." And what am I feeling? Relief!
Sure, divorce leaves you with lots of conflicting emotions. When I woke the next day after husband #1 left, I remember thinking, "I don't believe God really intended for me to live without a wonderful husband, a helpmeet, good companion, terrific daddy. God didn't really expect me to mow the lawn, maintain the car and the house, earn a living (with no education), and raise two very young little ones who were total victims in this ugly situation. All by myself?" Took me most of 30 years to realize that God didn't intend for me to live alone. I'm thinking maybe I took a wrong turn or two somewhere, like maybe choosing the wrong man (men). Like maybe looking for love in all the wrong places as the song goes. I didn't invite God along for the ride and look where it got me. Could be worse. I could still be married to one of them.
Just About The Sweetest Thing I've Ever Heard A Man Say
Just happened to be visiting with a man after church, a firefighter by profession. I told him how much I enjoyed his wife. He said "yep, I enjoy her alot. She's about the best there is. We've been married 27 years." He pauses then looks up and says "yep, they sure have gone by real fast". Like I said, just about the sweetest thing I've ever heard a man say.
Memories of 1313 Broadview Drive
I'm not particularly fond of husbands as men go. The two I had were not inclined to training, had their own agenda, and it didn't include me. That is with the exception of bearing children, cooking, and cleaning house. All of which left me on my own much of the time. Since we lived in a neighborhood of younger married couples there were several mothers in the same situation so I started a weekly coffee.(This is where I earned the nickname of Pearl Mesta, the hostess with the mostest). The kids could play in relative safety (albeit my little girl did manage to lead a posse of little ones behind a large arrangement of various plants in the living room. She was armed with a nail file which was a no-no. After everyone had left, I discovered my 10 foot tall rubber tree which had formerly been flourishing, now had a naked stalk about as high as her little hands could reach with her on tippy-toe. That poor plant never recovered). We did have another incident that comes to mind, the little girl from next door, same age of 4, was playing nearby with the rest of the kids when her mother jumped up from the table and said, "spit it out Mary Beth! Spit it out now!" And little Mary Beth, with huge blue eyes, looks up to her mom, opens her mouth, and out pops.......Her Tongue!" This type of mother/daughter exchange seems to have been a routine communication for them. Mary Beth seemed nonplussed.
And then there's the time my little boy, about 3, was seen running starkers down the street. Thank goodness one of my coffee buddies saw him and he was brought safely to home. More on that one but another time.
And then there's the time my little boy, about 3, was seen running starkers down the street. Thank goodness one of my coffee buddies saw him and he was brought safely to home. More on that one but another time.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
She Was So Cute But.....
This cute little first grade child in her school uniform and behind the playground fence, just happened to hit me the wrong way as I'm walking by:
Little girl: "Hi Old Lady!!!!"
Me:(I look around. She has to mean me. No one else nearby. My mind rewinds the past few seconds and hear her voice again saying "Hi Old Lady!!!!!") So I'm thinking, now here is an opportunity to be nice, so I say "Hello little girl".
And the little girl responds: "What's your name?"
Me: Didn't have to think about that one. This reply just pops out of my mouth.
"Puddin'Tane".
Little girl: "Never mind".
Now two days later I'm still trying to figure out what she meant by "never mind". Was it a set up with maybe a smart alecky retort planned and I foiled her with my answer? I don't know. I just don't know. Worse still, why does this still bother me. Was she a lippy little girl or a sweet little thing that just wanted to share a chat or two? My first thought is that she was a lippy little girl (do I have to refer you to her first comment to me?) After what she said to me I doubt I would have enjoyed a chat with her anyway.
Little girl: "Hi Old Lady!!!!"
Me:(I look around. She has to mean me. No one else nearby. My mind rewinds the past few seconds and hear her voice again saying "Hi Old Lady!!!!!") So I'm thinking, now here is an opportunity to be nice, so I say "Hello little girl".
And the little girl responds: "What's your name?"
Me: Didn't have to think about that one. This reply just pops out of my mouth.
"Puddin'Tane".
Little girl: "Never mind".
Now two days later I'm still trying to figure out what she meant by "never mind". Was it a set up with maybe a smart alecky retort planned and I foiled her with my answer? I don't know. I just don't know. Worse still, why does this still bother me. Was she a lippy little girl or a sweet little thing that just wanted to share a chat or two? My first thought is that she was a lippy little girl (do I have to refer you to her first comment to me?) After what she said to me I doubt I would have enjoyed a chat with her anyway.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A Study in Self Control
A subject that I have probed and examined for much of my life. I used to focus on my lack of self control with food but then I realized that I exercise self control in many areas of my life. I am encouraged. For instance, if I see a really fine looking man that almost makes me drool do I run over and grab him and attempt to drag him to my car? Noooo! That's! self control. If I see something in a store that I would love to own but can't afford, can even visualize it in my house, do I just take it without out paying? Noooo! That's! self control. When I see my ex on rare occasions and he gives me the evil eye Twice! do I walk over and slap the snot outta him? Noooo! That's really! self control. But show me a caramel pecan homemade roll, the synapses in my brain collapse, and you can count on it, that caramel pecan roll is in my mouth. It is so incredibly good but then the synapses try to revive, I'm feeling a little guilt crowding into my thoughts. This is war. Another bite of caramel roll, a big one because I don't know what the result of the war will be. Guilt is taking over so I quickly rip off the rest of the top of that wonderful roll, my teeth humming with the flavor of all those pecans and luscious caramel stuffed into my mouth. Ahhhhhhh! I can now look at the breading part of the roll I've tossed back in the donut box and feel righteous. I didn't eat the whole thing. That's! self control!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
H Day
This is the day I will be taking Hammer back to his family. Della Irene, Iyah Dogg, SammiBobo & Camy the Cat(well maybe not Camy) and I have enjoyed Hamm's visit. He's been an endearing presence to some of us and more than a little irritating to one little female, not naming any names you understand, who found him just a little too boistrous to her taste. Jealousy was also a factor. Hamm insisted on moving in on her territory, i. e., my lap, and succeeded in taking over. But then maybe Della's prone to being a little bit grumpy anyway.
Sammi and Hamm have played from dawn til dusk. They have shared each other's food, happily torn several stuffed toys up, and played tug over more than one small cloth limb from any toy donor. In other words they're buddies. The other day I was a bit under the weather and needing to rest myself so I dropped Hamm off at the kennel. (Don't say it. I know. I felt really bad about this. I called twice to check on him ((guilt)) and even thought about picking him up before they closed. Sort of like a doggy day out thing). Anyway, what awaits me when I get home but a very somber Sammi who lays his head on my chair and just......................stares at me. Just the thought of his reaction at Hamm's leaving makes me very uncomfortable.
The boundless energy, love and joy this little dog's visit has brought into this house is a treasure we will long remember. We look forward to seeing the little guy soon. At least most of us feel this way except maybe Della and Camy the Cat.
Sammi and Hamm have played from dawn til dusk. They have shared each other's food, happily torn several stuffed toys up, and played tug over more than one small cloth limb from any toy donor. In other words they're buddies. The other day I was a bit under the weather and needing to rest myself so I dropped Hamm off at the kennel. (Don't say it. I know. I felt really bad about this. I called twice to check on him ((guilt)) and even thought about picking him up before they closed. Sort of like a doggy day out thing). Anyway, what awaits me when I get home but a very somber Sammi who lays his head on my chair and just......................stares at me. Just the thought of his reaction at Hamm's leaving makes me very uncomfortable.
The boundless energy, love and joy this little dog's visit has brought into this house is a treasure we will long remember. We look forward to seeing the little guy soon. At least most of us feel this way except maybe Della and Camy the Cat.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
I'm Just Asking
Like many Americans I watched Barack Obama's speech regarding his pastor, Reverend Wright. Now I'm not the brightest lightbulb on the lamp but as I review some of his comments these thoughts come to mind, such as:
If Obama has listened to almost 20 years of Rev. Wright's hatred and anger toward whites, how can Obama NOT be affected by this in some way. Obama has chosen to attend that church, be married by that man, have his children baptised by that man. It would seem to me he would be virtually steeped in those values.
Obama's comment about his white grandmother further causes me to cringe for it shows his resentment of her whiteness. She certainly showed fear of blacks but Obama never took into account the era in which she grew up, the fact that his own father left him when he was 2 years old, that she raised him as her own in a place that frowned on biracial children.
Further, I find it puzzling and unsettling that Obama is running as a black candidate when he is half white. This man is truly a brilliant orator and has attracted voters from both sides of the political forum, but I hope that these people will look beyond the rehetoric and the lazy smile. This man is not a unifier of people. This man could lead us into a civil war.
And as to Rev. Wright, how can he profess to being a Christian and yet spew hatred for his fellow men for something whites in the past have done to black in the past.
If Obama has listened to almost 20 years of Rev. Wright's hatred and anger toward whites, how can Obama NOT be affected by this in some way. Obama has chosen to attend that church, be married by that man, have his children baptised by that man. It would seem to me he would be virtually steeped in those values.
Obama's comment about his white grandmother further causes me to cringe for it shows his resentment of her whiteness. She certainly showed fear of blacks but Obama never took into account the era in which she grew up, the fact that his own father left him when he was 2 years old, that she raised him as her own in a place that frowned on biracial children.
Further, I find it puzzling and unsettling that Obama is running as a black candidate when he is half white. This man is truly a brilliant orator and has attracted voters from both sides of the political forum, but I hope that these people will look beyond the rehetoric and the lazy smile. This man is not a unifier of people. This man could lead us into a civil war.
And as to Rev. Wright, how can he profess to being a Christian and yet spew hatred for his fellow men for something whites in the past have done to black in the past.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Meanwhile, Back Home. . . . .
I'm typing this blog with one hand because my 23 week old grandpuppy, Hammer, is bundled asleep in my lap. He has usurped this position from my very disgruntled chihuahua, Della Irene. What's more, he is oblivious to her anger. When he's ready for a lap nap, he walks right over her outraged little body and settles in, ignoring her hateful snarls and snapping jaws. Being ignored only makes Della more angry. (I understand her angst). The only good thing about these incidents is that a fight never insues. Hammer never realizes there's a problem so taa-daa! no fight!
Hamm does one of the cutest things I've ever seen a puppy do. He has a favorite teddy bear, his teddy bear taa-taa, which he flops down on and begins sucking on the back of it's head. This is a signal that he's tired and heading for a nap.
Pretty soon his eyes are rolling back, he struggles up and lands in my lap, asleep before he's under my lap rug. I have to tell you he is absolutely precious when he's asleep.
Hammer lucked out in that SammiBobo, my former foster dog which I adopted, can keep up with all that Bostihuahua energy. Sammi, a male, has become Hammer's Luv Puppy. That's right, Luv Puppy. At any given time, they're either playing chase, playing tug, or playing Luv Puppy. I look over to see how everybody's doing only to see, once again, Hammer, er...um...loving Sammi's backside. Sammi placidly endures Hamm's overtures. Sometimes when the Hammer is in action Della will playfully attack Sammi's face. Huh? Is this a doggy equivalent of a manage a trois? And none of the three seem to be embarrassed in the least. Anyway, after these exhaustive activities, we ALL look forward to a full night's rest. Hammer's family will find out when they return from their trip that he has had all sorts of fun at his Nonnie's house, gotten lots of love, and more than a little spoiling. After all, that's what grandmas are for isn't it.
Hamm does one of the cutest things I've ever seen a puppy do. He has a favorite teddy bear, his teddy bear taa-taa, which he flops down on and begins sucking on the back of it's head. This is a signal that he's tired and heading for a nap.
Pretty soon his eyes are rolling back, he struggles up and lands in my lap, asleep before he's under my lap rug. I have to tell you he is absolutely precious when he's asleep.
Hammer lucked out in that SammiBobo, my former foster dog which I adopted, can keep up with all that Bostihuahua energy. Sammi, a male, has become Hammer's Luv Puppy. That's right, Luv Puppy. At any given time, they're either playing chase, playing tug, or playing Luv Puppy. I look over to see how everybody's doing only to see, once again, Hammer, er...um...loving Sammi's backside. Sammi placidly endures Hamm's overtures. Sometimes when the Hammer is in action Della will playfully attack Sammi's face. Huh? Is this a doggy equivalent of a manage a trois? And none of the three seem to be embarrassed in the least. Anyway, after these exhaustive activities, we ALL look forward to a full night's rest. Hammer's family will find out when they return from their trip that he has had all sorts of fun at his Nonnie's house, gotten lots of love, and more than a little spoiling. After all, that's what grandmas are for isn't it.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
SammiBobo
I've had the good fortune most of the time to have a 15 lb. one year old Japanese Spitz move in with me. He was originally a foster dog and one home after another fell through, three months had passed, and I had gotten so attached to him that I couldn't let him go. Since Sammi came from the animal shelter I had no idea what his background was except he was constantly in need of attention. Being somewhat high strung I thought the best way to help him calm down would be daily walks. One day he managed to slip his head out of the collar and he raced away, ignoring my calls to come back. At that time a jogger trotted by and Sammi charged her heels, barking and bouncing around. The woman yelped and Sammi took off . He had bitten her! She was nice about the incident, I managed to herd Sammi toward home, and I called my son who said to get Sammi a halter. Which I did.
Now fast forward a couple of weeks, Sammi is doing great with the halter, no more escapes when we walk. A man comes over to work on a problem on the patio in the back yard. (This was when I still thought I was older and smarter) I kiddingly said to Sammi, "Get him, Sammi! Bite him!" and he did, twice.
So now I'm looking for an attractive muzzle for myself. It would be nice if it matched Sammi's black and red halter.
Now fast forward a couple of weeks, Sammi is doing great with the halter, no more escapes when we walk. A man comes over to work on a problem on the patio in the back yard. (This was when I still thought I was older and smarter) I kiddingly said to Sammi, "Get him, Sammi! Bite him!" and he did, twice.
So now I'm looking for an attractive muzzle for myself. It would be nice if it matched Sammi's black and red halter.
Older and Smarter
A friend sent me an interesting email yesterday: "Can you pass this 5th grade test?" And I'm thinking to myself, 'fer sure, yep, okay, no problem'. So I begin.
The questions are clever such as "if you had a dozen books after you gave away seven books, how many books would you have left?" (How easy can they get?) I'm in the 5th grade thinking level and I know the answer from multiple choice is "I don't know", right?! There were several similar clever questions but I had their number and I rolled right through all 11 of them. Triumphantly I reach the end and clicked on the word "Results". Humming to myself I had a short wait until these smart alecs who designed this test said I'd only got 3 of the questions correct. Then to add insult to injury they comment "I'll bet you're probably good at sports". Humpf!!!
The questions are clever such as "if you had a dozen books after you gave away seven books, how many books would you have left?" (How easy can they get?) I'm in the 5th grade thinking level and I know the answer from multiple choice is "I don't know", right?! There were several similar clever questions but I had their number and I rolled right through all 11 of them. Triumphantly I reach the end and clicked on the word "Results". Humming to myself I had a short wait until these smart alecs who designed this test said I'd only got 3 of the questions correct. Then to add insult to injury they comment "I'll bet you're probably good at sports". Humpf!!!
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