Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My Miniature Tyrant


There's a little 12 lb critter who has lived with me for going on 14 years.This is a picture of Iyah Dogg with his human necklace, Miss M, who has been photographed with many nearby canines. Iyah is half chihuahua (that breed does seem to get around quite a bit), and half Shih Tzu mix. He is blond like his momma with enough feathery hair that causes him to be groomed, like a schnauzer. Everyone has a fit over him. I kid you not,to this day he still receives visits from a certain couple who drop by every now and then after meeting him some years ago. People go ape when we're out for a walk, stopping their soccer training or whatever when they spot him to trot over and exclaim 'wow! I've never seen a blond schnauzer before!' And I'm thinking to myself, 'You still haven't, buddy.' Or 'where can I get one of those' a man will say. 'Ya can't buddy. He's one of a kind, kinda rare'. I have to admit I've had a little trouble enjoying this little guy. Iyah's been a prodigious runaway. I've shed countless tears over his stupid self, watching him dodge cars and trucks that were traveling on the busy street in front of our house. And me on cane, tearfully following after. I found no enjoyment in any of this, terrified I would find his dead little body at the end of each search. I guess you could say we were engaged in a friendly war. Another thing about Iyah that seems odd to me is that he wouldn't play except to grab my house slipper occasionally when he was a pup and hang on. I guess that made me his very own toy. Anyway,I've taken to going barefoot in the house which has foiled him most of the time. He is hardheaded and will only come or go when he finds it convenient. He barks when he wants in or out, wants a treat, or wants on or off the bed. All of which indicates that he has me very well trained, thank you very much. Now the vet says he's half blind and half deaf (I'm referring to the dog here. I don't know if the vet's so afflicted or not). I find it very interesting and would like to know which part of Iyah's hearing and sight is gone because he can spot/hear me two rooms away as I near the treat table. And in his latter years he has developed the strangest thing of all. If I tell him it's time to go outside he will stand in the doorway of the dining room....waiting....until I say (This is the honest truth. I've got witnesses), "Iyah Dogg, come on down!" and then he nods his head and begins his leisurely stroll to the back door. As if this isn't silly enough, he has somehow taught Della, the chihuahua, to do the same thing. I feel very foolish doing the Ed McMahon thing with a dog but it gets the job done.

Iyah doesn't run away much any more. The last time he tried to run he ran head on into the neighbor's newly installed iron fence. He actually voluntarily turned around and came back home. He mostly lies curled in his doggy bed blissfully sleeping the hours away. He gets his Ed McMahon call last thing at night and then I carry he and his bed to my bedroom for the night. I think I'm beginning to enjoy him now after all.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Watching Air

In a small area about halfway between my garage and the fence there once stood a large, regal pecan tree. A couple years ago it finally died, the bark had fallen off and in a blustery storm the rotting roots finally gave way this year. But this once lovely tree did not have the grace to fall to the ground. It's topmost branches, you know, the smallest ones?, are now cradled in the small branches of a couple of saplings. Down toward the base is a fairsized stub of branch that points directly earthward. And that's what I check every day. How much air is there between the tip of that stubby branch and the ground. Something has to give. That tree has to be heavy and those saplings can't hold it up forever. I'm thinking about starting a lottery on the actual day and time of the final fall.

And then there's a nearby tree that the grandkids have christened 'Buttina'. But that's another story.

Friday, July 25, 2008

SammiBobo


This is a little guy that I rescued. He's a Japanese Spitz, all 15 lbs. of pure love and happiness. He has stolen our hearts, fits right in and gives us a good many laughs. He's a devoted (jealous) companion and has only bitten 5 people. Seriously. But we're working on it. And he only sheds in the summer. Hair floating through the air, in my mouth, my eyes, sticking to my clothes, uh, he's really sweet and cuddly and he mostly doesn't chase the mailman any more if I can divert him with a treat at the last minute. Ya can't help but love the little guy but

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

5 Dogs & A Cat

My house is inhabited by 5 dogs & 1 cat. The 2 youngest dogs (pups) belong to my two grandkids who just happen to be staying with me also. One would think that the steel wool munching animals would provide endless entertainment but it turns out that that isn't true. Here are a few of the things my grandkids have entertained me with:

E: I like eggs because they come with their own juice.

M: When you die can I have your furniture?
Self: Why?
M: So I can sell it on eBay.

M: I think I want to be a rock star. I have a good feeling about it.
Self: Well, let's hear a song.
M: I'm too embarrassed to sing in front of someone.

M: Okay, then I could be a very good vet. I like dogs and cats.
Self: Honey, be prepared for 12 years of vet school.
M: I can do that.
Self: .....tests, lots of studying, cutting up frogs.....
M: Oh,if I have to study that let's that out. What do you think I should do?
Self: Marry rich, honey, marry rich.




There are more but they're hiding most of them behind my back.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Audie Murphy Club

I've often thought I was the President of the Audie Murphy Club (you might Google Audie Murphy. You'll find he was a genuine nice guy and a war hero. There is a book written about him entitled "To Hell And Back", hence my tenure as President of his Club.) With all the happenings I've endured in my life I qualify at least to be a senior member. And now I venture toward the edge of insanity. My daughter is studying for the bar exam, needing peace and quiet, so I'm trying to keep the grandkids occupied at my house. Now with this package of kids, luggage and toys comes two adorable puppies, 9 month old Hammer and 3-5 month old Brownie. These, added to my 3 dogs makes for a lot of mouths, feet and tails. Since Brownie is new to the family there is some behavioral adjustment from my dogs. There is a healthy amount of jealousy in the mix so there's lots of tiptoeing going on especially at feeding time and at the treat table.

The puppies, being puppies, chew on everything, and me being a numbed out member of the Audie Murphy Club, failed to monitor this activity. That's how I lost my newest pair of Earth sandals, my most favoritist pair of shoes ever and in my favorite color too (laying it on thick because I figure my daughter will read this). Caught the little culprit brown pawed (as opposed to red handed you see). No doubt about who did the damage. It was Brownie . I growled a stern NO, Puppy! and he looks up from his chewing and wags his tail, pride radiating from his eyes. You can tell he's thinking to himself, 'good job. Now you can mount it somewhere so we can admire my handiwork together'.

Ever vigilant, I'm keeping my eyes on all the dogs. I've collected all my shoes and hid them in the closet. I think they'll be fine as long as the dogs don't figure out how to open the closet door.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Saltpeter Tree

You'd think this was a tricky subject but what it actually is is a mistake. And this is what happens when your hearing starts to fail. I find out later that the name of the tree was actually Salt Cedar Tree. I was washing dishes when I heard the comment about the Saltpeter Tree on a t.v. program and I'm thinking to myself, 'hmm, I didn't know that saltpeter was a tree.' I assumed saltpeter was dug out of a salt mine or maybe concocted in a laboratory. The longer I live it seems the less I know. I'm not even sure what saltpeter is, let alone what it does. I know I could google saltpeter but do I really want to? Let's face it, at this point in my life do I care? I've lived without saltpeter so far so I'm thinking I can go the rest of the way without it. And that's what I'll do. That Salt Cedar Tree wasn't very pretty anyway.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I Know I Am But What Am I?

Okay, I admit, I actually clicked on a pop-up. Normally they flit briefly over my screen and disappear, another pop-up shot down by my computer security package. This time it lingered and challenged me to find out just exactly how smart I really was......an I.Q. test. Well hey, I'd like to know if I've gained any points in the brainiac area so I began the test. It was fun, it was interesting, it was long. About 15 minutes later it said to click on the 'Finished' button and I could find out how smart I really am. So I did. And immediately I see an ad for something totally useless. I click on the word 'skip' in the upper right hand of my screen. Another annoying ad appears. 'Skip'. And another ad. I had been duped. I cleared the screen feeling irritated and frustrated. I really would have liked to have found out my 'mature' I. Q. I head to my home page and see that I have new messages. Ah ha! One of them is from the I. Q. site. I quickly open the message which read, "YOU'RE STUPID!!!!!" So now I really know what my I. Q. is, at least on the computer.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Miss Eleanor, Departed

You came into my life and seemed to fit right in. I couldn't imagine living without you at that time. You were sleek, handsome, a character with character. Then you became a little cranky, then even more. Your behavior, oddly enough, became predictible until one fateful day you pitched such a fit that I couldn't take it any more and I had to give you away. My biggest regret, Miss Eleanor, is that I don't have any pictures of you to get me through these tough times. I've even driven by your new home and once spotted you resting under the oak tree, alone. I'm sure you didn't know I was there. I understand your new people have 4 cats, all named Lee. I hope they're good people. I made sure they knew your name. I forgot to ask if I could visit. Maybe it's better that way. It still wrenches my heart to I think of you, as if I had betrayed you, even though I know it was best for both of us. Goodby Miss Eleanor. You are missed.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Chasing Shade Trees

I confess, I chase shade trees. And I'm not alone. I see people darting out of their places of business to nudge their cars under the nearest tree, said tree that's providing prized shade. Even if the shade doesn't last long it's still worth it for the brief respite from the glaring Oklahoma sun. I myself chase shade trees at home. Even with bird droppings and sap raining down on my car, I don't care. Shade has much more value in the summer than a few inconvenient dulled paint spots. I'm neither proud nor ashamed of being a shade tree chaser. I'm in good company, almost a secret society. Membership requirements are bird droppings and sap spots all over our cars. Check it out. The next time you're driving around and spot a car with random dull paint spots, you've just spotted one of our members!