It Went Something Like This

Because my daughter had planned a trip out of state I volunteered to keep her two youngest children. E. & M. have stayed with me before and we have a certain understanding of the rules at my house so that leaves us free to enjoy our time together. However, factor in my two grandpuppies and the story changes. Mav and Hammie don't understand the rules, likely don't care that there Are any rules, and maybe wouldn't follow the rules even if they did recognize them. Sometime later my daughter and I have a few phone conversations via cell phone whereby I find out she's sick( and I'm having sympathy pains) and not going the rest of the way on her trip (this is because I threw a hex on her because she was going to N.Y.with the possible intention of moving there and I really don't want her to move). I'm appropriately sympathetic about her illness and suggest that she and her elder daughter D. stay in Springfield, Mo and rest up. In the meantime Mav, I discovered, had torn ALL the insulation tubing off my back door frame. The door that faces North. Okay, not too bad. It can be cleaned up without too much effort and I try to tell myself that the insulation tubing probably needed replaced anyway. And we're cruising into the next day. I'm having fun teasing the kids when I walk into the bathroom and find a pile, and I do mean a pile, of shredded paper that had to equal at least 3 double rolls of toilet paper. If anyone had had an emergency at that particular moment they would have had to retrieve some of the canine saliva soaked paper mounded near the commode. Ewwwwwww!.

The kids and I went shopping for groceries. Back home from our trip they peeled off in the living room and plopped down in their special places,clicking on the remote and begin their interrupted stare at the latest Hannah Montana story. I sallied forth into the kitchen with the groceries and discovered trash scattered over half the kitchen floor. Smelly trash. This misfortune could have been caused by Mav, Hammie or Samber.(I think something like this situation is where the phrase "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" came from this because 6 lb. Della and 14 year old Iyah Dogg could have pulled this off only in their dreams.

Then my daughter calls and signals that it's okay to bring her little chickadees home. So the kids and I stop by a friend's house to feed her two house cats, the elderly stray Uncle Chuck who lives on their back stoop, 4 half grown kittens who were deposited in their garage by a 'loose' mother cat, and BunBun, the ill tempered domestic rabbit that my friends are keeping for a friend of theirs. E. decides to place one of the house cats, Maxwell, inside a box and drive said cat around the house. That silly cat stretched out, looked both ways, nodded his head forward (I swear!) and off they went. Definitely a video moment only I don't have a video, yet. What a neat way to end a chore. We giggled for miles as we recounted memories of Maxwell in his luxury car tooling around the house, indicating directions with a nod of his head. The perfect note to ending another visit with Gran.

My Middle Grandchild

The way this child's mind works is fascinating and often entertaining. Yesterday as we're driving back from her home to mine, there's a commentary about the Presidential candidates on the radio and she calmly contributes "if I was old enough I would vote for Noboma". That was so cute I didn't even correct her.

Ode to Granddaughter M.

~~~~~M.'s Lament~~~~~


I gotta cough
I think I'm sick
I think I gotta
Lotta ick.

Maybe fever
Some asthma, Wheeze
I can't do chores
I gotta sneeze.

B. P's soaring
I'm just eleven
I'm way too young
To head for Heaven.

But......
My liver aches
It's something bad
Acting sick
Is my favorite fad.

Attention, please
I'm over here
Recovering fast
And not a tear.

Note:(M.'s maladies come and go with equal swiftness. Her knowledge of various medical problems are mostly inaccurate which can make her complaints very entertaining.)

Grandkids Are Like Reliving The Past

There's a tire hanging from the cedar tree in my front yard, just like at my grandma's house. Grandma had a 2 story house. I have a 2 story house too although mine is much smaller and in town. Grandma cooked really good food, including corn and tomatoes from her garden, and chickens she hand fed. Okay, she has me there. I do get occasional fresh veggies from the neighbor's garden and the chicken is bought at the local grocery store. Anyway, I just happened to run across a couple of neat buys at the local church rummage sale. A popcorn air popper and the old crank style corn popper you use on the stove top. The kids got a kick out of sampling the results of both processes which we took for treats at the drive-in theatre. I can't remember what we watched although my grandson (who had already seen the flick) kept coming up to me and saying 'what do ya think about this part Nonnie? Just wait, the next part will blow ya away!" And I was blown away, because I had advance notice of several exciting parts. Anyway, my granddaughter, bundled in quilt and pillows, had fallen asleep on the hood of the car. Does it get any better than this?!


The kids also got to experience fresh sqeezed oranges, from a very old glass juicer. They loved it. Next time my grandson has requested we get the old butter churn down so we can make butter. I asked him if he was willing to eat the butter after we made it and he said 'Eech!' Maybe we'll make beef jerky instead. At least they like to eat that.

Armadillo Soup

First off, whomever is sharing this incredible weather, 60's & 70's, and a nice slow rain over several days DURING AUGUST, thank you!

I'm watching the log cabin being built on the lot behind my house. Just today they delivered the logs, real ones. I know if I had been in charge of ordering those enormous, weighty hunks of wood I would probably have wound up with stray knots that stuck out and wouldn't let that hunk of tree align perfectly with the next one. I'm also wondering how tall this cabin is going to be because I have a lovely view for miles from my second story windows. Besides that they're not being very practical. I have a huge dead tree in my back yard they could have had for free.

And now to the problem. These people who are building behind my house are also now blocking the armadillo path that runs from their lot then beside my house and back. I once had the good fortune to see a quadruplet of armadillos, really little guys, shuffle side to side as they still managed to moved forward. I had recently read that they have poor hearing so I snuck up on them and tapped a couple on their backs. No reaction. They just continued to search for food. It was amazing to be that close to those wild little creatures. Other animals that may be distraught over the house out back (no, I did Not say outhouse) are the deer that frequent the woods next to my house. Even more exciting is when I spotted a tiny, dappled pair of identical twin fawns. And the cardinals seem to have moved in en masse, bright colors flitting from branch to tree. If you think I'm painting an idyllic picture of my life you're close. It's just a shame no one else was here at the time to share these wonders with.

Honored I Tell Ya. I've Been Tagged.

Fun, fast and entertaining just the way it should be.

1. I cut my own hair, exactly one finger length all over. I was told by a beautician that my hair is so thick it hides many sins.

2. I live with 3 little dogs who pretty much rule my life. Since I love hairy chests they were my only option because 2 legged dogs just didn't work out.

3. I'm a sugaraholic who doesn't like chocolate. However, I've been known to nosh my way through the chocolate to get to the sugary insides of candy, cookies, whatever. I also qualify as a junkfoodaholic too.

4. Going off meds can be lots of fun if you're mildly bipolar. That's all I'm going to say about that.

5. I'm very tolerant. I tolerate dust, dirt, smudges, fingerprints and other regular stuff you'd find around a house.

6. Something that bothers me is when self-absorbed people call to chat and repeat the same thing over and over again. The bad thing is, I'm sure I do the same thing sometimes.

7. I bathe instead of shower. Ewwwwww!

8. Bonus comment: I only wear bras on special occasions.

The goobers I know, except Pink Puffy Sleeves, only have emails. Am I disqualified?

Day Three: Mosquitoes Wearing Red

Again, my results have been phenomenol. Less powder needed and still no mosquito attacks. Today, however, someone burst my balloon by informing me that talc in the powder has the same ingredients as asbestos. So. If anyone has read this blog and is using body powder, DON'T!. We're now recommending corn starch with the caveat that we are not responsible for any attempts by dogs, cats, or any furry creatures that might try to "taste your legs, arms, neck, or anywhere else that you've applied said corn starch". Go forth and be biteless and well. -Wanda The Cave Woman

Day 2: Mosquitoes Wearing Red

Success!My body powder theory is into the second day and is a resounding success! This is even more exciting than watching a pair of romantic turtles, folks. I'm totally thrilled and basking in the glory of what might become a burgeoning business. What freedom to walk any time of the day and not be swarmed and bitten by those bloody overgrown gnats. I did note, however, that there were several varieties of butterflies flitting around me. They stayed with me all the way from the hiking trails to my front door. What on earth could that mean?

Mosquitoes Wearing Red

I don't know about you but when I'm out walking I don't want to be skeeter bait so I wear that nasty smelling/feeling skeeter spray. This morning I just couldn't make myself spray it on but was still reluctant to venture outside without some type of protection. (This is when I enter my newbie scientist stage). I accidently knocked over a box of scented powder, 'Red' to be exact and the thought clicked that maybe those mosquitoes wouldn't appreciate a snout full of scented powder let alone wear it on their feet. So I doused myself with powder, head to toe, put on my sandals, and marched out the door. As I glanced down at my ankles to see if I had any takers I realized the powder had me looking like a slightly rotund poof of powder. Now locked into my scientific experiment and putting on my more than a little 'don't care' attitude I headed down the alley and took a left toward the hiking trails. Stopping at various mosquito checkpoints I was elated to find that my treatment had worked, NO Mosquitoes!, and I still smelled lots better than the mosquito spray I had been using.

Heading back down the alley toward my house my mind is seething with a multitude of ideas on how to improve and even market my idea. Now I'm wondering if I need to venture into the medicated powders, and do cheaper powders work just as well as the more expensive kind that I had started with. The potential is there! I just need to do more testing. So tonight at dusk I plan to be wearing another powder, this time Elizabeth Arden's Red Door.(I'm using up what I have before I stock up on more powders) I have to get to the store to buy reflectors so my neighbors won't freak out recognizing me in my powdered state and a headlamp so I can see my mosquito attackers in action. Wish me luck! I'll be reporting back on my experiment. Oh, and I think I'll call it }}}}}}}}}Peeeeeeeeee ssssssssssS{{{{{{{{{ (for Powdered Skeeter. Catchy, don't you think?!)

The Kids Are Gone! The Kids Are Gone!

Because my daughter was busy studying for the bar exam I had the good fortune to help by taking care of her children, M & E, and their 2 puppies. I was a little frazzled after their last visit, appalled really. Their attitude that I ran the Granny Hotel wore thin so I decided I would have a total change of attitude on my part and maybe have a turnaround. My new rules were simple: pick up after yourself (no, don't drop your dirty clothes and towel next to the sofa because you're too busy watching cartoons); cooperate by responding when I ask you to get ready because we're leaving in 20 minutes (Again. No staring slackjawed and motionless at the cartoons while I'm hustling 5 dogs out the door, putting in another load of clothes and emptying the dishwasher). There were a couple of other requests but for the most part all these were met with a blank stare, as though these poor children had been dropped into a foreign land and were clinging to the cartoon network for survival.

My daughter said 'So, you actually made it 10 days with them' and I'm thinking to myself 'You have to be wrong. It was really 3 weeks wasn't it?'

Things did improve with repeated requests from me. I'm sure both kids left feeling relieved for having escaped Granny Hitler. If you asked me today if I would watch them again I would answer 'Of course. But maybe next month'.