Is It Al Gore Or Is It Satan???

My friend and I occasionally cross paths with a charming elderly couple on the hiking trails in the east park. Tony, who is from Austria, and Rose, who is from England, have endearing accents often accompanied by cheerful expressions. I like to think of them as special european smiles. We encountered one another in a local store and not having seen each other for some time due to cold weather we had some catching up to do.

Our stories were getting more exaggerated and then the topic swerved right (left?) to Al Gore. Or rather Rose deftly steered us in that direction. Dimutive Brit, Rose said in her proper London accent "if Al Gore was right here I'd pop him in the face. I would! That global warming nonsense. Makes me mad all over again just saying his name. Al Gore. POP! Just like that! That's what I'd do if he was right here!" As Rose demonstrates a roundhouse punch to the absent Al Gore's nose. And then she asks "so what do you think about global warming?" After a brief thought I replied "Maybe it's the fires of Hell getting closer to earth's surface." Rose and Tony laughed, we exchanged farewells and hopes for fair weather so we could meet once again on the hiking trails.

Personally, I'd like to think Al Gore is right. The idea that Satan is that much closer to us is scary, don't you think?!

After the snoring fiasco at the movie theatre I thought I would never set foot outside my house and most definitely not at the movie theatre, ever again! There's wasn't the a living cell anywhere in my body that wished to relive that humiliation.

So I was sitting home

When Humiliation Can Be Funny

On a rare occasion I will drive to a nearby town to view a current movie. I had been toying with the idea for some time and the opportunity presented itself last Sunday afternoon. Though I had arrived early I took advantage of the time to doze a bit, being the only one in the theatre at that time. Various people wandered in, settled and began munching their popcorn. The movie began, one I was most interested in, but somewhere shortly after, I fell asleep. My next memory is of a disembodied head floating just above my shoulder who said "ma'am, your snoring is upsetting the other patrons. Would you please leave and continue your nap in the lobby?" I was mortified. I glanced around the theatre but no one would look at me. My first thought was to leave but the Scot blood in me demanded that I watch the movie I had paid for so I stayed, bruising my thigh with continual pinches so I wouldn't fall asleep again. (I could just imagine myself being led out to the lobby to 'continue' my nap, with moviegoers walking by and my assigned caretaker quietly explaining that I had to complete my nap before I would be allowed to re-enter the theatre.)

The movie was set to end when I perched by the door, determined to be the first to leave and save myself further embarrassment. Upon reflection it wouldn't have mattered since no one would look at me anyway. It will be a long time before I go to the movies again. That was enough humiliation for me.