Banking Is For The Brave

With interest rates rapidly rising on my credit card I realized I would be far better off to refinance my house and roll the credit card debt into my house loan. That made my trade from 23.9% interest to a tidy 5% a very practical move. Making that decision was the easy part but getting a mortgage loan ain't what it used to be. The lender will want to see at least 5 of your baby teeth (now, now, now no objections. If you want the loan you WILL come up with those teeth).You find two tiny teeth in your baby book and frantically call your mother, your favorite aunt, anybody who might have the remaining 3 baby teeth required. And they found those teeth, but I'm wondering now about these sick people that kept those baby teeth for 60 years! Are they nuts or what!(Just a note, you will have to pay for the DNA tests to verify that the teeth do indeed belong to you. I think they call it a processing fee). The lender will also ask for any and all crayon drawings of houses from your childhood. Preferably without any stick figure families. (I heard of one lady who submitted one drawing including the stick figure family. She was declined because her stick figure family appeared to closely resemble Hitler).

The lender will also ask for all cancelled checks on any debt remaining on your credit report even though said debt was deleted from your credit report 10 years ago. You're getting crosseyed now but still you dig through boxes and boxes looking for the missing checks and other forms that are being requested.
Never mind those hives that popped out about halfway through this process. You MUST get this loan. You can't eat, or sleep. Your friends and family have decided that you may have slipped quietly over the line into insanity. You huddle over stacks of paper, eyes glazed, hoping you'll locate those damn papers, ignoring the ringing of the phone, the door bell. Your little dogs cringe over in the corner and collectively decide they would be better off outside even without food or water.

And then, AHA! I found the cancelled checks! And things begin to fall into place. This makes for one very happy packrat, folks. Everything has been delivered to my mortgage banker, who has been very sympathetic through this whole process, and we wait. And wait some more. I think I don't care any more. Well, yes I do. 5% is 5%. And the answer finally comes.... I get the loan! I just don't get my baby teeth back.